Wedding Stationery Etiquette
Other than how to save money, the second biggest question I get when working with brides is how to word their stationery. These are some basic but most asked etiquette questions, and hope you find this useful as you are planning your wedding.
Save the Dates
Save the dates should always be used unless you are having a small, informal ceremony. The information on this card should be basic, with names, date, location, invitation to follow and website address. You should only send a save the date to those who are getting a formal invitation. If after sending a save the date you are notified that someone cannot attend, you should not send an invitation, so they do not feel obligated to send a gift. If it is someone close to you, sending an invitation with a note that this is for a keepsake works well.
Invitations
NAMES
It is customary to have the bride's name first on all wedding stationery. For same-sex couples, we suggest listing the person with the shorter name on top (if the design has the names stacked).
Formal:
If you are adding the bride’s parents to the introduction section, the bride’s last name can be omitted; if the parents are divorced, then the last name can be added for clarity. Middle names can also be added. The groom’s name is listed in full, or his first and middle names followed by the line “Son of Mr. & Mrs. John Doe”.
For a less formal feel, you may opt to list first names only.
information
Timing
For a formal ceremony, the date and time should be spelled out in full. For example, if your ceremony is on April 26, 2025 at 6 p.m., the wording should read, “Saturday, the twenty sixth of April, two thousand twenty-five (no “and” in the year), at half after six in the evening”.
This is just a guide; modern invitation design often has times listed by numerals, so we suggest using what works best for the design layout.
Evening begins at five o’clock; from noon until 4 pm is considered afternoon.
Location
List the ceremony venue as follows: “Venue Name” on one line with “City, State” (spelled out in full) on the following line. Street addresses are only included if it is a private residence.
RECEPTION
If the wedding ceremony and reception are being hosted in the same location, you can simply state “Reception to follow” or “Dinner and dancing to follow”. If it is being held at another location, on a separate details card you can include the venue & address of the location (or on your website).
If you’re not serving a full meal, we suggest indicating this with “hors d'oeuvres & merriment to follow” or "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing” or something similar.
ATTIRE
Typically attire is not listed on the invite, unless it is black tie. Any other type of suggestions for attire should be on a separate enclosure card and/or your website.
What Not To Include
Website Addresses: These should be reserved for detail cards or vellum
Attire: Anything other than black tie
Venue Address: Only if it is a private residence
Etiquette Wording
TRADITIONAL or
FORMAL
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Elizabeth Katherine
to
Jason Michael Anderson
son of David & Eileen Anderson
Saturday, the twenty-sixth of April
Two thousand twenty five
five o’clock in the evening
Ocean Bay Country Club
Montauk, New York
reception to follow
CASUAL
Together with their families
Elizabeth Katherine
and
Jason Michael Anderson
invite you to celebrate
their wedding day
Saturday, April 26, 2025
five o’clock in the evening
Ocean Bay Country Club
Montauk, New York
reception to follow
DIVORCED/REMARRIED
PARENTS
Mr. John Doe
Mr. and Mrs. James Dillon
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Elizabeth Katherine
to
Jason Michael Anderson
Saturday, April 26, 2025
four o’clock in the afternoon
Ocean Bay Country Club
Montauk, New York
reception to follow
BOTH PARENTS
HOSTING
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe
along with Mr. and Mrs. David Anderson
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Elizabeth Katherine
and
Jason Michael
Saturday, April 26, 2025
four o’clock in the afternoon
Ocean Bay Country Club
Montauk, New York
reception to follow
Reply Cards
These cards are small, to collect only the pertinent information. These details need to be kept to a minimum, as there is limited wording for this card.
Deadline Date
The deadline date should be a minimum of 4-5 weeks in advance of your ceremony; the year isn’t listed for the date if the wedding is taking place in the same year as mailing the invitation suite.
Accept / Decline
As a way to determine who is attending, you can have different options to note this.
Accepts, or accepts with pleasure
Declines, regrets, or declines with regret
Number of guests attending (optional)
If you have a strict guest count and need to specify how many can attending, typically “we have reserved _ seats in your honor” can be added. Prior to mailing, you can write in the number on the card while stuffing the envelopes.
Meal Choices (if applicable)
Meal choices can be indicated by words (chicken, beef, vegetarian, etc.) or icons. For words, please note that the full title of the meal won’t fit on a traditional card; just single words to note which type.
If you need to know which selection is needed for each guest, a short phrase such as “initial next to entrée choice” will suffice.
If you are requiring to provide food allergies to your caterer, we suggest using a short phrase such as “dietary restrictions”.
Guest Names
This is required so you can know who is attending.
Detail Cards
These cards are perfect for directing your guests to your website, online RSVP’s, accommodations, reception location information, attire and special events. Short, easy to read wording is best for these cards.
Example:
Welcome Drinks
{location name, address}
{Date & Time}
Accommodations
We have a block of rooms at
{hotel name}
Please book prior to {date}
to receive the discounted rate
More Information
for details, please visit
{website}
Online RSVP’s
If you are opting to collection your responses via your website, make sure you include the deadline date. This is best combined with the website, so they are reading this along with the website address. You may also have us create a QR code for you as well.
Details & RSVP
For more information,
and to respond by {date}
please visit
{website}
or
For More Information
and to respond by {date}
please visit
{website}
